Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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