I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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