How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i now understand why vodka
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
