Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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