I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
