anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
