Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
