Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
