1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
