gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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