She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
