A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize