pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
