On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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