Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
