Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
