You don't have asthma, your pregnant
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize