So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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