Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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