my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize