Nicole vs. Life
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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