U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
