I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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