I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
