we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
