Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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