Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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