Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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