i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
