Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
