Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
