True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he just fucked me for my cheese..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on