Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

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(212): K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep http://tfl.nu/ltsv

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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(403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0

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(704): View more from North Carolina

she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails

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(704): she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails http://tfl.nu/8gop

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(973): View more from New Jersey

UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.

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(973): UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to. http://tfl.nu/mbqt

Replies (26) Good night (5705) Bad night (1118)
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(+06): View more from

it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

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(+06): it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever.. http://tfl.nu/huu2

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.

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(423): I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant. http://tfl.nu/k43z

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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(402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr

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(704): View more from North Carolina

That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.

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(704): That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes. http://tfl.nu/bf3h

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(912): View more from Georgia

She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.

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(912): She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone. http://tfl.nu/cxjj

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are you alive?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.

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(204): Are you alive? (1-204): I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all. http://tfl.nu/y639

Replies (4) Good night (1414) Bad night (605)
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(760): View more from California

You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare

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(760): You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare http://tfl.nu/ctrq

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(812): View more from Indiana

I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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(812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv

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(773): View more from Illinois

I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.

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(773): I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day. http://tfl.nu/c735

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(416): View more from Toronto

Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.

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(416): Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life. http://tfl.nu/bd2a

Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (366)
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(480): View more from Arizona

She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.

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(480): She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine. http://tfl.nu/3eun

Replies (6) Good night (548) Bad night (134)

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