i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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