So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
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The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dick very happy bro