Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

Fav 23 10816 1086
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

they said they heard you say put it in my butt

Fav 21 4637 2868
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.

Fav 30 10888 1330
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.

Fav 10 2248 3622
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

Fav 4 4298 1079
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

Fav 4 2253 776
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(928): View more from Arizona

Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

Fav 10 967 1419
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash

Fav 7 1030 548
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

Fav 3 987 547
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT