The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media