Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.