Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.

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  (815): Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now. http://tfl.nu/afd9
  Replies (23) Good night (872) Bad night (469)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (570) Bad night (4732)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.

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  (970): totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off. http://tfl.nu/qavz
  Replies (34) Good night (6752) Bad night (624)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament

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  (603): I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament http://tfl.nu/4ewl
  Replies (5) Good night (4113) Bad night (1270)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

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  (337): My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night. http://tfl.nu/n564
  Replies (22) Good night (5731) Bad night (755)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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  (602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p
  Replies (35) Good night (9866) Bad night (1061)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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  (401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp
  Replies (16) Good night (2285) Bad night (2525)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics

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  (937): it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics http://tfl.nu/vrre
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (1946)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.

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  (724): I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way. http://tfl.nu/vhtx
  Replies (12) Good night (2135) Bad night (1303)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun

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  (315): I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun http://tfl.nu/s1lu
  Replies (3) Good night (1649) Bad night (545)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.

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  (201): Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float. http://tfl.nu/ejnz
  Replies (6) Good night (1545) Bad night (504)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night

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  (310): Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night http://tfl.nu/y79x
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (275)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...

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  (608): I just used crown royal bags as pot holders... http://tfl.nu/4auc
  Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (259)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.

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  (408): I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms. http://tfl.nu/0beo
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (584)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.

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  (520): So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have. http://tfl.nu/rbrl
  Replies (3) Good night (272) Bad night (351)

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