i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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