What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
