i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
