The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
