Me. At least after what I've been through.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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