I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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