She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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