And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
