he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
