She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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