it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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