It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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