Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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