I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
