I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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