He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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