I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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