you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
