Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
