I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize