I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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