just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
