You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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