shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
