stop calling my apartment porn island.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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