i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE